Gleam in the Children’s Eyes: Trucks to Toys-from-Trash

The educational terrain in India, especially for poor children, is very harsh – almost barren. Even a good seed will wilt away in the absence of any soil to nurture it. We should endeavor to prepare a fistful of soil every day to help these seeds germinate. Therein lies hope and this will lend meaning to our lives.

After graduating from IIT Kanpur in 1975, Arvind Gupta took up a job with Telco, Pune, now Tata Motors, as an engineer trainee. Two years later he realized that he was not born to make trucks. There were too many questions plaguing him. “Why do people who toil the hardest, do the most back breaking work get paid the least? Why was the education system so rotten? Why did the poor have no access to quality education?” He wanted to experience life, participate in the struggle of workers, and instead of seeing the scorching headlights of trucks he wanted to see a gleam in the eyes of children – the joy of learning something new!

In 1980 when Arvind quit his job at Telco, his mother came to his defense stating, “Good, now that he has quit his job he will do something worthwhile”.

A prophetic statement from a woman who herself never went to school.  But she ensured that her four children went to the best school and excelled. Arvind has not disappointed his mother.  Every day he has worked with children – perhaps learnt more from them than he has taught. For the last 30-years, he has been demystifying and popularizing science among children with toys from trash thus preparing the fertile soil which will one day nurture young minds to germinate into eager, creative, exploring, questioning adults.

Inspiration

In 1972 a lecture at IITK by Dr. Anil Sadgopal recounting his experiences of teaching science to village children in Madhya Pradesh stirred him deeply. Dr. Sadgopal did a PhD from Caltech and worked as a microbiologist with the TIFR. He was barely thirty when he quit his job to start Kishore Bharati – one of the first NGO’s in the Hoshangabad District of Madhya Pradesh. He was disgusted by the horrendous way science was taught in village schools. The Hoshangabad Science Teaching Programme (HSTP) attempted to make science interesting for village kids who had no access to expensive labs. Arvind looked at the possibilities of designing simple fun experiments using easily available local, low-cost materials like matchboxes, coins, broom sticks, newspapers, cycle tubes, old electric bulbs, rubber slippers etc. This excited Arvind enormously. In 1978, he took one year off from Telco and worked with the HSTP. There he designed many appropriate teaching aids. One was the Matchstick Mecanno which used cycle valve tube and ordinary matchsticks to make a series of 2 and 3-dimensional structures.

Another person that inspired him was Laurie Baker, a British-born Indian architect, renowned for his work on cost-effective energy-efficient houses. Arvind calls him,”my college day icon.” As a very compassionate architect, Laurie Baker touched the lives of the poor. He used local materials, local designs to build very affordable houses for the poorest fishermen. In 1978, Arvind spent four splendid months working with this great man and learnt that the solution to problems of the poor can be found by delving deeper into their reality – by understanding local materials, designs and skills. Arvind recalls, “Baker was an amazing man – all the time joking, laughing, drawing cartoons making fun of himself and the world around him, but simultaneously doing dead serious work.”

George Washington Carver – the black scientist’s life and work also deeply inspired him. Born a slave he struggled hard against racism and worked for the good of all humanity

Finally in 1980, Arvind left Telco to pursue his passion. He joined the Vidushak Karkhana – a commune run by a group of socially sensitized IITians (Dunu Roy, Sudhindra Seshadri and Sanjeev Ghotge) in the tribal district of Shahdol. There the inmates lived a Spartan life – cooked and worked collectively, ran a mechanical workshop, and dissected and discussed the whole world. Here the “personal became political” and he was able to explore some of his deepest queries.

From 1981-83, he worked with a trade union of miners in Chattisgarh. To him, terms like ‘contract workers’ and ‘exploitation’ were mere words, bereft of any deep meaning. He thought of experiencing the life of the marginalized to make sense and understand them better. The three years were tough but deeply enriching. Many times the only meal was rice with salt; and bed was the union office floor. He brought out the union’s newspaper “Mitan” – and sold it on the mine gates. He also helped the union run a garage for repairing trucks and taught in their schools. Through this he gained first-hand experience of the deep struggle in the lives of the poor. The mining township had 300 dump trucks ferrying ore from the mines to the railway yard. Children of the miners were very creative. They made improvised dump-trucks using just two matchboxes. They used a matchstick lever to lift the loading platform of their trucks. This was his first insight into the amazing world of children’s creativity. He documented this Matchbox Dump Truck in his first book – “Matchstick Models & other Science Experiments”.

Beginnings….

Arvind was born in 1953, one of four children whose parents had never been to school. His father – a poor businessman was perpetually in debt. He greatly benefited from his mother’s wisdom. She gave him enormous self-esteem and high self-worth. His mother understood the value of education and made sure that all her four children attended the best English Convent in Bareilly (UP) – St. Maria Goretti School. When debts mounted she sold her jewelry to pay for the children’s school expenses. Arvind still remembers his math teacher, Mrs. Frey. “She was the best. She nudged us gently to relate things to real life. She realized that I was good in math but poor in English. So, she chatted with me for hours in English.  Because of her generosity I excelled in English and passed with distinctions.” As a child he didn’t have many bought out toys. In a sense this was a blessing – because now he had to improvise his own toys. When he was 6 years old a relative gifted him a Mecanno Set – which had steel strips with holes, screws and pulleys. He played with it for years and made many more things than were listed in the brochure.

Arvind did well in school and topped his district in the Intermediate Board Exams. After 12^th he got into IIT with an AIR of 218. He was 28^th in the North Zone. Which branch of engineering to choose? He had no clue. So he asked all the 27 boys ahead of him as they returned after counseling. All had opted for Electrical. So he landed up doing Electrical Engineering.

The Time & the Place: IITK and the 70’s

Coming from a poor family and small town, IITK opened up a new magical world for him. The swanky infrastructure, astounding facilities, enlightened faculty and elite peer group did sometimes instill a sense of awe. But there were great opportunities to be seized.

Together with his friend Akhilesh Agarwal he did a lot of tinkering – they made a compressed air engine, a Wankle Engine and repaired numerous aero-modeling engines. For full three years both of them ran the aero-modeling and auto-club at IITK.

As a child Arvind read little. IITK made up for it. The best thing at IITK was the library. It opened from 8 AM to midnight and one could issue 10 books. He used to read a lot – 6 newspapers every single day! He got addicted to the Economic & Political Weekly (EPW) and voraciously lapped up the Calcutta Diary by Ashok Mitra. This helped him see his own experiences in a perspective. All 5-years, he got the merit-cum-means scholarship. So, it was cheaper for his parents to keep him at IITK, than at home! This meant he spent a lot of time at IITK even in holidays.

The 1970’s were politically very volatile years. Students were out on the streets of Paris challenging authority. Anti-Vietnam, civil rights movements were rattling America. Rachel Carson’s book Silent Spring ushered in the environment movement. Intellectuals were swearing not to participate in war research. There was revolution in the air.

Arvind was drawn to political activism right in his first year. The Director had suspended Prof. A. P. Shukla – a distinguished physicist from Princeton for his left-leaning activism with the Karamchari Sangh. In protest the students decided to take out a march. He decided to join in. He was perhaps the youngest amongst the protesters. The rest were all MTech and PhD students. There were hardly any BTech’s. Students marched from one hostel to another. Some protestors carried placards and banners. As a young novice he was the only one shouting, “Comrades come out! Protest!” Some of the PG students got jittery at the word ‘comrade’ and asked him to shut up. He was too naive to understand the political ramifications of ‘comrade’. To him it simply meant a friend. The march ended by pissing in front of the Director’s House! This was Arvind’s first explicit political act!

A few intellectuals in IITK in 70’s were sympathetic to the Naxalite movement. They endlessly discussed the ideology of ‘class conflict’ and ‘seizure of state power’ over umpteen cups of coffee and Charminars.

Such empty talk didn’t attract him. They sounded vain. “Why don’t they do something about the plight of the mess servants?” Arvind would ask, “They serve us from early morning till late at night. Still their children don’t get admission in either the elite Campus School or the Central School.” Some of his class mates placed more faith in small positive action than in empty rhetoric. They were doers. So, he joined a group called SAHYOG – which helped teach the children of the mess servants.

They went from room-to-room collecting Rs 5/- per month pleading with hostel mates to “help a poor child go to school”. Some people were kind and paid. Others slammed the door on their faces and threw them out. He taught for a long time in the Opportunity School – a makeshift school for the underprivileged run in a Type II quarter.

In TA-204 Arvind and Akhilesh swore not to make a ‘silly’ project which would gather dust and ultimately mingle into rust. So they decided to do something ‘socially useful’ for the community. So, they made a ‘see-saw’ for the Opportunity School. They got the kids to do Shramdan. They dug two pits and finally grouted the ‘see-saw’ in place. Once a week he used to bunk classes to teach in the Opportunity School. They also held evening tutorials – helping children with difficult concepts or their homework. He spent the last 3-years in Hall V where he taught at least a dozen children from the Nankari village. They finally cleared their High School Exams.

Around 1970 Dr. Man Mohan Choudhary started the Le Montage – a film club. In five years the films club screened just about every film by Kurosawa, Bergman, Fellini, de Sica and Satyajit Ray. ‘Wages of Fear’ and ‘The Bicycle Thief’ was screened at least thrice. The student’s saw the world’s best cinema and listened to the country’s best musicians. All this had a profound effect on his sensibilities! There were extra-mural lectures by luminaries – Dr. Anil Sadgopal, Noble Laureate Gunnar Myrdal and Hindi writer Bhishma Sahni.

Arvind recalls, “A good institute does something to you without you knowing it. It slowly creeps and seeps under your skin – every pore of it. And that is what IITK did to me – it shaped my thinking, my character and prodded me to do something worthwhile than just make money.”

His first semester English teacher was the very enlightened Prof. Suzie Tharu and The Little Prince was his text book! The many social science courses – Philosophy, Political Science, and Economics challenged him to view issues from different angles – to look beyond the narrow ‘technical’ viewpoint. IITK certainly gave him a holistic perspective.

The defining political slogan of the seventies was:

“Go to the people, Live with them, love them,

Start from what they know. Build on what they have.”

 Mission – to get the gleam back into a child’s eyes

Arvind has attempted to put the joy back into learning science. He has designed 1000 low-cost teaching aids and toys for learning science. These activities have been documented in clear sequential photographs with crisp instructions into books and videos. His team has also made 470 short films (1-2 minute duration) on how to make these learning aids. These films dubbed in 18 languages show the whole process of making and playing with the toy. Currently he has 3400 short films on YouTube with over 40,000 viewers every day. In the last four years these films have been viewed over 15-million times. Friends and volunteers help in dubbing these films in many world languages. When children see a film in their local language it makes a lot more sense to them. All this educational material can be downloaded freely from his website http://arvindguptatoys.com/

Over the years he has translated hundreds of books on education, peace, science, mathematics and great children’s literature into Hindi. He has also presented over 145 films for the NCERT science programme titled Tarang. These films have been repeatedly beamed on Doordarshan. He has conducted workshops in over 2,500 schools across the country – many of them with municipal and poor schools. This is how he describes his experience after each workshop, “After every workshop I see smiles on the faces of the children. There is gleam in their eyes. These have been my most fulfilling moments. I see hope.”

To reach far flung remote Indian villages with little internet connectivity a DVD titled The Learner’s Library has been collated. It contains 1000 amazing E-Books on Education, Peace, Environment, Science, Mathematics and great Children’s Books plus 220 short videos on Toys-from-Trash plus 6000 photographs with instructions to make simple science models. All this is packed in a single DVD! This DVD (currently in Marathi, Hindi and English) has been shared with over 7000 schools for free. Apart from this, every week Arvind’s team holds two free science workshops for school children. In each workshop 50 children from a municipal school participate. They spend 4-hours seeing some amazing science demonstrations and also make 10 simple science models with their own hands. The children take back what they make.

In 2003, Prof. Jayant Narlikar (Padma Vibhushan) India’s most celebrated Astrophysicist invited Arvind to work at the Children’s Science Center of IUCAA (Inter-University Center for Astronomy & Astrophysics) located in Pune. Here, a small team of four – very passionate and wonderful people work out of a 400-sq ft room. Surrounded by junk, the 59-year-old Arvind, in his corduroys and khadi kurta, walks around barefoot, creating teaching aids which he lovingly call “toys”. Gupta’s office/lab is littered with finds from the local bazaar, garbage cans, old bottles etc. There are broken CDs, used Tetrapaks, bicycle valves and tubes, film rolls, magnets, plastic straws, used refills of ballpoint pens, all types of paper, worn-out bathroom slippers, matchsticks and matchboxes, mirrors, bangles and combs. Hanging from soft-boards, wall nails, doorknobs and handles are Tetrapak butterflies, needle and thread acrobats, paper birds, spiders and skeletons.

Everyday 10,000 passionate books are downloaded from his website. All for free. His reward: a sense of deep gratitude to be able to do something meaningful for the poorest children of the world. The Science Center’s mission statement is – “Get the gleam back into a child’s eyes.”

He believes in Copyleft NOT Copyright

There are 400-million Hindi-speaking people who have little access to good reading material. There is a tremendous paucity of good books in Hindi. With over a billion people there are no decent public libraries in India. One of his passions has been to translate good books for children in Hindi. Every day he spends three hours translating books into Hindi so that they can reach out to a larger section of children.

In 1998, the Pokhran blast shook his conscience. The response to these nuclear tests was uniformly eulogistic. Politicians across the board lauded this feat.  Indian scientists vied for photographs dressed in military fatigues. This was deeply depressing for Arvind.  He looked around and there seemed to be no books on peace in India – the land of Buddha and Gandhi. It was then that he came across a Japanese story called ‘Sadako and the Thousand Cranes’ – a true story about a girl named Sadako Sasaki, who was diagnosed with leukemia after the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. Sadako knew about the Japanese legend that folding a 1000 paper cranes would grant her wish. She did fold a few hundred cranes but ultimately succumbed to the atom bomb disease. Sadako died at twelve for no fault of hers. This story brought tears to Arvind’s eyes. He knew he had to translate it. There are now a dozen anti-war books, amongst hundreds of other translated titles on his website. “Our focus is to make valuable world literature available to our children in Hindi,” says Gupta.

Lokmanya Tilak said, ”Swaraj is my birthright, and I will have it.” Arvind has similar views on the sharing of knowledge. He says, “Knowledge is my birthright, and I will share it. Copyrights laws were enacted in the caveman’s era – they make little sense in today’s digital world. The digital dream should be to bring every book, in every language available to every child on earth for free. And this is very doable.” He has digitizing thousands of out of print books on education and for children. He has been translating books that help children see new possibilities and expand their horizons. He claims, “The need to share knowledge is enormous. The response of civil society should be to share. Not for money, but for the love of sharing. Whatever I do is a small effort towards doing just that.”

Science is not about burettes or pipettes

Having visited more than 2,500 schools, Gupta observed that in most schools the lab apparatus lay locked in cupboards and gathered dust. It is a myth that science can only be done in fancy labs with gleaming glass burettes and pipettes. Science has been made out to be a bookish affair in which you simply mug up definitions and formulae and spit them out in exams. But this is patently untrue.

For children, the whole world is a laboratory – they are always making things. Children are often traumatized by expensive equipment alienated from their own daily life. His slogan is, “The best thing a child can do with a toy is to break it.”

Why do children break toys? Because they are curious and want to know what’s inside it. This is what propels them.  A well designed toy must welcome children to pull it apart, see its innards and put it back again. There is enormous possibility and potential in our children, if they are given a chance to discover things for themselves. “When children make things themselves, they gain a deep insight. They learn so much without being taught. For instance, the newspaper has a grain in one specific direction. Long strips can only be torn along the grain, not across it,”

The British Telcom ad sums the deadness of schools succinctly. “Children walk to school, children run away from school.” If we can link science to real life and real objects than it becomes magical. On Arvind’s website, one can find, for instance, a delightful centrifugal pump made from a drinking straw, a piece of a bicycle spoke and some sticky tape. Another is a totally unbelievable way of balancing ten nails on the head of a single vertical nail, which can be rocked. The nice thing about these toys is that they are made from absolutely low cost, locally available materials, with a strong recycling element.

We must not forget that most sacred and expensive thing in any “lab” is the child’s mind! Toys capture children’s imagination, teach them scientific principles, and encourage their curiosity. Toys from trash imbue another cardinal value TO DO MORE WITH LESS.

We need engineers to help those living on the ground

To encourage IITians to take up social causes, he suggests that first and second year students should spend a couple of days living in a city-slum or with a remote village community. This will directly expose them to conditions of depravity and dehumanization. Compassion and consciousness for the poor can come only through direct personal experience and not through lectures on poverty. These real experiences will make youngsters think, analyze and they will soon discover for themselves the real reasons for world poverty. Some of them will later on certainly take up more meaningful vocations then working for the war industry or destructive corporations. Arvind’s inspiration is a Young Oxfam Poster of the seventies:

“And somewhere there are engineers

Helping others fly faster than sound.

But, where are the engineers

Helping those who must live on the ground?”

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Arvind Gupta has been conferred numerous awards for his work, including the inaugural National Award for Science Popularization amongst children (1988), Distinguished Alumnus Award by IIT / Kanpur (2001), Indira Gandhi Award for Science Popularization (2008) and the Third World Academy of Science Award (2010) for making science interesting for children.

Please feel free to contact Arvind Gupta (BT/1975) at arvindguptatoys@gmail.com

His website http://www.arvindguptatoys.com has FREE downloadable resources on education, environment, science, and toy making.  

I should have paid more attention to developing soft skills than worrying about CPI

I have now realized that happiness does not depend on CPI. There are many other things which affect happiness in life – health, relationship with spouse, kids, parents, friends and neighbors to name a few.

During B. Tech. days many of my classmates were extremely worried about their CPI. For many it was the only way to ensure access to American universities and most importantly the scholarships there. I never had those aspirations and possibly because of that I never felt that type of pressure at anytime during B. Tech. program.

This doesn’t mean that I did not want to do well; I just couldn’t help it.  It was quite frustrating for me.  However, after so many years I have become wise enough to realize that life does not depend so much on CPI. There are many other things which affect happiness in life – health, relationship with spouse, kids, parents, friends and neighbors to name a few.

Honestly speaking, I did struggle with my CPI during B. Tech. which I passed out in 1989. It was in electrical engineering and my passing out CPI was 7.1. Am I a “success” story? I do not know. I consider myself to be a work-in-progress. I am still struggling (though I am doing reasonably well)   and trying to build my entrepreneurial business. I believe in efforts. Hopefully the result will take care of itself.

Humble beginnings

Before I talk about my views on CPI let me talk about myself first. I was born and brought up in a very small tribal village at a remote location in Jharkhand. My village had no electricity and the nearest all weather road was approximately 10 km away. In the absence of any public transport we had to either walk or ride on bicycle to go to the nearest small town, a block headquarter, and then catch a bus to go to Ranchi, Gumla or Lohardaga. During rainy season it was almost impossible to ride even on a motor bike. During these days even getting any medical help from nearby town used to be a project in itself. Because of lack of hygiene in our daily life, we used to get sick quite often and many a times our grandparents believed on the local “Ojha” (tantric) will cure us. Luckily my father was an educated man and believed more on modern medical care.

I started studying a bit late (about 6 or 7 years of age) that too at home. My grandfather had arranged one teacher of nearby village school to come to our house regularly and teach us. After fair bit of teaching I was admitted to a school of nearby village in class 4. The school was approximately 1.5 Km away and we used to sit on the floor on our jute sacks and were taught by teachers who used to do part time farming.

When I was about 11 years old my uncle took me with him so that I can study in town. He was a lecturer in Bhagalpur University. My secondary school education was completed there. By this time I had proven myself to be a good student.  I used to feel good at school because of all the recognition that I got for being a good and sincere student. However, I must admit, I did not quite enjoy the normal family and social life very much because of being away from my parents for a long time. I had clearly missed the parental love and guidance during those formative years.

My higher secondary education was done partly at Bhagalpur and then at Ranchi. At Ranchi I came in contact with some really good friends who helped me in preparing for JEE. I did not take any conventional coaching classes but relied on books suggested by my friends. However I could manage to get good AIR ranking securing a seat in Electrical Engineering B. Tech program at IIT Kanpur. Thanks to my friends Rajesh Ranjan and Manoj Roy for extraordinary help without which I could not have cracked JEE.

I had good AIR. I tried, but could not get A’s in courses at IITK

Now I was at IIT Kanpur, a shy person with no confidence to engage in good conversation in English and used to feel a bit awkward in many social occasions. Clearly my confidence was at its lowest which was compounded by just enough monetary support from my parents. Thanks to the Merit-Cum-Means scholarship which provided me extra support. I do not know what I would have done without it.

I tried as much as I could but could not get A’s. I had to contend with B’s, C’s and sometimes D’s.

The reasons for this are my failure in getting fully engaged during classes and, I must admit, not being able to comprehend many things being taught in classes due to poor listening comprehension in English in first two semesters. This was also because of my inability to interact and have conversation with my peers coming from different backgrounds which must have limited my ability to learn from them. Thirdly I used to take sports sincerely which, after so much of study, left very little time for social interactions.

Depression hit me once, but not because of bad grades

I used to get disappointed with my bad grades. Fortunately, I had no pressure from my family nor did I have ambition to go to US. I just wanted to do well in study and expected good grades.

However, I recall certain moments of my life in campus when I was really depressed. One such moment was in third year when my mother passed away after a long battle with cancer. The thoughts I had that time were that of despondency. I think some of my instructors did notice this and one of the Deans, Prof Raghuram, did have very sympathetic words with me. However, after those few moments of good words it was the same old harsh world again expecting me to show the similar performance as was expected had this bad event had not taken place.

I was able to handle this myself because of the strong value system that I had due to moral teachings and parental guidance. (I believed that whatever God does is for one’s good. One should do one’s best but should not have high expectations about its results.)

When I reflect about this incident and about similar moments of my life, I think my faith in the strong value system which was developed due to my growing up in traditional Indian society had helped to recover from those moments of sadness and melancholy.

The second incident that I recall is when I was in 2nd year and I could not appear in two end-semester exams because of illness. Thereafter, I was asked to reappear.   I failed in one of them. This was for TA (Technical Arts-2). The reason was the nature of the exam. In this exam the expected answers were supposed to be somehow mugged up to be reproduced during the exams. I thought it was so un-IIT like. Students used to guess the likely questions for mugging up the answers   and my guess turned out to be wrong. The instructor was also unforgiving. Due to this I had to repeat this course with junior students which I did not like at all and at times felt sad.

In view of this, I suggest that whenever an instructor fails some body it should be reviewed by someone independent and then only the decision to fail should be taken. In fact if students fail in any subject the matter should be investigated by higher authorities and the teaching content, teaching style etc of the instructor should be thoroughly examined.

One of the reasons that I never felt too depressed was because of my involvement in sports.

First sporting activity is always a very good stress-buster and so reduces the chances of getting depressed. Secondly my achievement in sports which includes gold medal in inter IIT meet made me well recognized in the institute and possibly because of which I never felt too isolated from others in the institute. Chances of depression are more if someone feels himself/herself isolated from others.

What is important is to identify your passion and run with it.

It has been more than 20 years since I graduated. I now realize that I should have paid more attention to developing soft skills e.g. conversational skills, relationship building, people skills etc. instead of CPI.

Many graduates do not pursue engineering as profession and extra effort put in by them at IITK to get high CPI, while neglecting to develop life skills, is a wasted effort.  The fact that CPI is not very important should be instilled in the mind of these young students, their parents and the faculty.

High CPI, may indicate that the person is goal oriented. However, low CPI does not necessarily mean that the person is not goal oriented or that he cannot become a successful person later on. I was goal oriented but my CPI was low because of intense competition and various other reasons. What is important is to identify your passion and run with it.

I think IITK should emphasize the importance of developing of soft skills among students. These are the skills a person will find very useful no matter what profession he/she chooses after getting engineering degree. The academic institutes should realize that they are not making students just an engineer but as fully developed human being who can learn whatever hard subject he is needed in course of his/her professional life. There is no need to force them to learn something which they may not utilize in their life later on. There is no need to teach heavy curriculum. The purpose of teaching should be to make students aware of concepts. If any student later on pursues career in engineering he can always do self-study to better his professional engineering skills. The campus should cultivate happy learning environment with emphasis on creativity and innovation.

Sneak out and experience “life”

I would say there should be more social activities, sports activities, and cultural activities in campus. The time for these activities should be provided by reducing some curriculum related stuff. I suggest frequent arranging of cross country races and other sports activities which enjoy wider participation. To facilitate social mixing occasional group lunches, easy seminars could be organized more frequently. IITK campus is isolated from the city. There should be more efforts to make sure that these young students go to the city/outside campus. Group visits to nearby parks, zoos, cinemas should be done frequently.  In short I suggest that the students should be encouraged to be part of the community, to have friends, to be engaged in sporting and social activities and the curriculum should be reduced to make sure that they have enough time for all these things.

IITD has the lowest suicide rates which I feel is because of the fact that it is not geographically isolated from the city which provides more opportunity for students to sneak out of campus and experience the life outside. IITD courses are also not heavy. In spite of this its students are no less capable or less successful.
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Sanjay Kumar is a 1989 B,Tech. and 1991 M.Tech. in EE from IIT Kanpur. His new venture, Kumar Consultant Ltd is registered in UK. It provides engineering design and engineering management services to rail industry in UK and India. He worked with Indian Railway in its Indian Railway Service of Electrical Engineers (IRSEE) cadre and for Delhi Metro before moving to UK in 2005. He believes that this decade in India and possibly in many other countries is likely to be a decade of infrastructure in which railway will play a dominant role and his company could provide well-designed products for the rail industry. The mission statement of his venture is “affordable transportation and sustainable energy for all.” He can be contacted at Sanjay.Kumar@kumarconsultants.co.uk.

Listening to the Heart: My Reverse Journey…

All my friends are going to USA. I must join the rat race. But heart wants happiness in India among family, friends and the people who are like me. Head wants money – without which there is little security. Will my journey to USA bring happiness? Will money be answer to my prayers? Will I finally realize that true joy is in the sense of belonging?

I am Vivek Kumar Singh, Class of 1996 B.Tech. from IIT Kanpur and this is my story.

It is more than an autobiography. It is the story of millions of Indian youths, who enter the job market each year, with an overpowering ambition to succeed and make money. They run in every possible direction to grab money – perhaps the only indicator of success in their eyes. Mid-way through the pursuit of money, they lose focus or rather gain focus and think about the purpose of all the running around behind mega bucks. They realize that there is more to a blissful journey than money. “Is this I want to do for the rest of my life or there is something else?” The question starts haunting their minds. However, materialistic urges and fear of the unknown, keeps them trapped in the vicious cycle. Sometimes, it is sheer pressure – to do what everyone else is doing – that holds them on the dreaded path, also known as the “rat race”.

Brain creates fear psychosis. It keeps sending stimulus to tell, “If money is lost, comfort will be lost. You will become nobody. Keep garnering cash. Do not digress or you will be a loser.”

Heart’s rumblings are often ignored by the brain. However, if the heart is strong enough, brain will concede and look for a middle path (commonly called compromise). Alignment of heart and head is a must for a contended journey of life. An emotional heart and rational brain will figure out a middle path, which satisfies both.

More often than not, head and heart are in a fight for supremacy. We are torn between what ‘we want to do’ and what ‘we are supposed to do.’

Initially, my head conquered my heart. Finally, the heart won the battle and I am now back home in India with no regrets. I do not want to preach you anything. I just want to share my journey of struggle between the head and the heart; most common in every life. There is no one fixed answer that one must choose. The ultimate goal is living with oneself and be happy. And there are as many ways to be happy as there are to be unhappy. I hope you will choose to be happy; regardless of your past decisions & choices.

Beginnings…

I was born in a middle-class, educated family in Bihar. My father’s salary was the only source of income for the family. He was a UGC commissioned lecturer – least corrupt but most demanding job. My mother was also a lecturer in a private college, which never paid any salary, ever. She continued with the hope that sooner or later government would overtake the college and regularize it and she would get the arrears due. She retired with that hope. My siblings and I had to wait until the end of each month to buy any personal items – till father’s pay check. Still we felt loved and pampered. My mother was very strict with our studies. She knew that good education is bread and butter for middle-class. We used to study with kerosene lamps. Electricity was rarely available.

My family was proud when I was selected for a prestigious residential school, situated at south Bihar, now Jharkand, called Neterhat. I was among sixty selected for my batch from all over Bihar and Jharkand. I was twelve years old. I learned the pain of separation with family at an early age. It was a boys’ school, only exception was teachers’ daughters. Teachers also used to live in the school campus. I spent next five years at Neterhat, achieving adolescence, learning discipline, and understanding the meaning of friendship. After 5 years in Netherhat, I completed Intermediate with Science and Math and appeared for IIT JEE exam – the only way for a middle-class student to get decent education as we could not afford to attend high-fee charging private engineering colleges. With a bit (or lot ?) of luck and great deal of hard work, I cleared JEE and chose IIT Kanpur.

Neither a Dude nor a Desi

America was very much alive at IITK. There was a group of students who knew more about America and the American way of life than about the country of their origin. This group was called DUDE. Snobbery and arrogance were considered interweaving threads of this Dude group. Another name for this group of students was  Dropped. The logic behind this name was that God was sending these people to USA but accidentally dropped them at IITK. The not so-elite group of mostly Hindi speaking students was called ‘Brahmin Boy’, ‘punter’, and desi. These two groups were always at loggerheads. Fortunately, I was neither a desi nor a dude; I was in the good books of both groups. Reason being, I did not have strong preferences for any language, culture, region or other related things.

Those four years at IITK went off like sitting next to a beautiful and talkative lady. There were a lot of memorable moments. During ragging, I was asked to propose a girl in Hindi and say exact translation of words “Hello Sexy, Would you like to go on date with me” .. Another instance in which, a department topper tattooed initials of his crush in Blood on his arms and still got rejected by the girl. The evergreen fights and squabble between Desi Vs Dudes were always interesting and didn’t let you get bored. And then continuous classes and activities. It seemed that destination came fast and we had to get off. But there were  some brave-hearts, who continued for their college journey for another couple of years by flunking some courses. It seemed a big deal that time, but they might not be repenting now. In 80 years of lifespan and a career of 50 yrs, 1 or 2 years hardly makes a difference, so a bit of extra fun is OK. I am of the opinion that spending extra time in college is always good. Friends from earlier part of life become support for the later part of life. Earn as many friends as you can.

So, with some broken hearts, rationality overtaking infatuation, we graduated and most of us took software jobs without actually knowing what software was. We shrugged off the warnings of our esteemed faculty – “In software, you will be dead meat in ten years.”

Bangalore — a Mecca for a College Graduate from Kanpur

I got job in a reputed Indian software company in Bangalore. Bangalore has fabulous weather and equally fabulous pubs. For the next two years Bangalore was my home. I had everything in Bangalore – a salary that was ten times more than the pocket money, pubs, free weekends, lots of college friends who like me landed in Bangalore, free internet in office and email-id. Those days internet and e-mail were privileges. We were in constant touch with our friends who went to US for higher studies.

I was making as much salary as my father was getting and he had just five years left to retire. When I told him my salary, he was so concerned with the higher wages of the software industry that he wanted to write to my company to reduce wages for software engineers. His argument was that so much money in young hands would lead to various social evils. My father used say, “Have lust for life, not for money.” However, slowly, money started playing mind games with me. A year later, I started feeling that what I was making was not enough. I was getting restless for more. Easiest way out was to go overseas, particularly America – where green bucks were flowing for the software industry. Lot of young engineers were leaving Indian companies through placement agencies (derogatorily called dalals) and taking up jobs in American companies. Money played the central role but ‘exposure to cutting-edge technology’ quoted as an alibi for going abroad. I was now getting bored in my job so I began toying with the idea of going to USA and multiply my salary many times. Bangalore also ceased to give fresh kick. Friend circle was shrinking. Many have left for USA.

The time was right and I had enough reasons to convince that going to USA was necessary. I reasoned, many Indian software companies work for foreign clients. Very few companies work for Indian clients. Therefore, whether you work in India or abroad, you end up working for foreign clients – mostly Americans. “So why not work where there is more money,” my brain has now convinced me that there is nothing wrong in going to America and making more money. Looking back, I find it interesting that when I was at IITK, I never prepared for GRE or GMAT kind of exams which were a must for going abroad. I had, in fact, observed the lives of foreign students at IITK who were highly alienated from most of us. I did not want to live like them in a foreign land myself. But now I had found enough reasons to convince myself that going to America is what I need to do. Mind is a powerful thing!

Pilgrimage to America for a better life?

With the receipt of visa papers from the consulting company, my pilgrimage to USA started.
I took overnight train to Chennai and was in Visa queue by 5 AM. By that time, three aspirants had already beaten me! After being in queue for couple of hours I started thinking, is it really worth it? Finally, I went in and after waiting almost the entire day, I was one of the lucky ones who got visa. The journey back to Bangalore became more scenic. As my days to leave Bangalore approached, it started looking better. Idli, Sambar, Kesri bhat started tasting better. MG Road girls became slimmer and prettier. I sent my first resignation letter. I spent rest of the time in Bihar and Delhi.

From Delhi, I took the first flight of my life to USA in mid-May. My elder brother came to see me off. He did not say anything. But I could sense he was proud of me. There were many Indians in the plane on the Delhi to Frankfurt leg. In fact, vegetarian Indian food was served during this segment. I was very comfortable. But the second stretch from Frankfurt to New York was different. There were few Indians. Suddenly I was an ethnic minority. The minority is skeptical of everything because of a feeling of not belonging. Even the best of intentions of the larger group may be viewed with suspicion. Certainly, I was not one of them. I, however, found comfort in the fact that America is supportive of immigrants. Immigrants – European, African, Spanish, and now Asians, have built America. America has a pluralistic society and the rule of law prevails. And soon I was going to be a part of it. I was sitting next to the window and trying to take in and memorize everything my eyes saw. These eyes could now claim to have seen everything – from dusty, rustic Bihar village to New York City – literally a world apart.

The cab drive from Airport to my hotel via office gave me time to reflect on lots of philosophical questions and compare India to America.

• Why is the foundation stone of America. In America, you can ask why without challenging the authority. Americans do not get offended.

• In America, neighbors do not respond, system does. In India, system does not respond, so neighbors do.

• Americans do exactly what they are told to do. Americans have disciplined approach. I feel discipline scores more for society than intelligence.

• In America rich are highly regarded as they are role models for middle class working people since they have risen from the middle class. In India middle class looks at rich people with suspicion – someone who is not very high on integrity and moral values. We do not praise them yet try to copy them.

I started working from Monday. I shared a three-bedroom apartment with my college friends. They were employed by another software company. One of them had an American girlfriend. She loved the attention she used to get at Indian gatherings and Desi parties. I got exposed to America and American way of life. I learned a lot about America and the way of thinking of Americans. I liked in America how fun and work can co-exist, Americans’ passion for what they are doing, their work ethics, kids are not taught that their goal is to make parents happy/proud rather to pursue their own dreams, appreciation and support for good work without prejudice, openness to new ideas and willingness to move into uncharted territories, corruption does not affect day to day life of commoners, sincerity of community to find solutions and discuss problems openly, and their love for books. However, something was missing. When you are in America, you miss Indian culture. In India, you miss “the quality of America”. We don’t seem to be happy anywhere.

My life was becoming routine – get up early to go to office and return late. The initial euphoria about residing in America was subsiding. Travel to NY City was getting more frustrating every day. Magnificent buildings, flyovers, bridges, wallet full of plastic cards stopped impressing me. My frequency of calls to India was increasing. I had started feeling lonely. If I was not traveling on weekends, I was on the phone. It was same for my roommates as well. I needed change.

I switched to a New Jersey based company with substantially higher salary and less commute. I attended my school’s (Neterhat’s)  Alumni meet in NJ. I was very comfortable at Edison, NJ. NJ has it all – beaches, casinos, nightlife, farmland, good universities and lots of desis! I got opportunities to visit desi families’ social gatherings.  I also found a roommate who was fond of cooking! I realized that as a bachelor, you should be careful of your choice of roommates – they should have girlfriends and love cooking. Then your life will be smooth and interesting. I bought a Jeep Wrangler, learned to drive and got a driving license. With driving license in hand, nothing was unreachable.

India Calling

I spent couple of more years in NJ. I visited India often. The idea of settling down in India was getting dominant. In spite of all the fun and night life, my life in USA was getting listless and lonely. Sitting eight hours in front of computer screen and then at home phone calls to family and friends for another couple of hours was very much how I used to kill my day. Everything looked so lonely, individual and methodical. Looking at the job, culture, society and money separately, I like American way of life. Then what was making me restless or probing me to go back to India? Was I missing the chaos of living in India? I am not sure. I talked about my desire to return to India with my friends. They all gave their own highly rational suggestions. Going back to India became a recurring theme in my head.

I was become restless. Serious accident of my Jeep in which I fortunately survived, even though the jeep got totaled, only added to my resolve. The whole night I thought about the accident – shaken. It could well have been my last working day. I did not want to die in an alien land. Friends consoled saying that, “Don’t worry about what would have happened? It did not happen. It’s over.” But it was not over for me. My friends asked: Why do you want to go back to India to get stuck in the traffic and work for 1/10th of salary to do mundane and perfunctory work? There are so many people and so few avenues in India; it’s so competitive and a dog eats dog world out there. But my counter arguments of offices are lively in India and competition and comparison is a way of life in India and I grew up with that did not seem to convince them. Then I thought of happiness of my family members. Can I really be happy if my family members are not happy? Counter argument came, “Indian society is so intrusive and judgmental at times. They decide what is good for you. It is irritating. In USA, your individualism is intact. No one tells you what to do.” Another friend said, “America is richer, open and meritocratic. What’s wrong in settling here?” I thought for a moment and replied, “Look, my father is not the richest person on earth. But I will not leave him for a richer person. My mother probably is not the most gracious woman on earth. I will not exchange her for another more gracious mother. I am sure my future wife will not be the most beautiful woman on earth. I will not divorce her for a more beautiful woman. Why should I leave India and settle elsewhere? I belong to India.”

My friends were silent. They were looking for an answer, but I got my answer, “I want to go back because I belong to India.” I had found the reason for the void.  I did not belong to USA. The feeling of belonging was missing in USA. It was not a natural habitat for my kind of breed. Adapting to the systems of USA, howsoever perfect they might be, was not natural to me. In USA I felt that I was like a plant being forced to grow in the lab even though the conditions for growth were optimum.

For me growth is not just a biological or chemical process, it is also an emotional process. Emotionally, I would like to grow up where I belong. Regardless of how many years I live in USA, I will always feel a foreigner. I just cannot pretend to fit-in.

Although I felt in peace with my decision, my friends continue to find holes in my argument.  “Do you mean to say that you belong to India because you were born there? If this is the case people will not move from one place to another. Everything will be so static, no exposure to new things.” I argued, “No, people must travel, get exposure to new ideas, improve their current societies. Belonging does not mean any change. I know people who are born in India and lived all along in India but they don’t belong to India. They have been fishing to move out of India.

You belong to a place where your mind and heart aligns not necessarily where you are born and where you have lived.” India is a place where my heart and mind coincides. Both feel comfortable. It spurs me intellectually as well as provides emotional stability.

I am glad I found where I belong. Some people spend their lifetime without being able to make up mind as to where they belong. You can make a short-term compromise on belonging but in long term, it becomes melancholic to live with a feeling of not belonging. I had reached that stage.

I gave 2 months’ notice to my employer. The night before the D-day I spent time talking nonsense with friends. In the morning, I was ready to fly back where I belonged.

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We encourage you to communicate with the alumnus featured in this story, please post your comments or write to him at vivek_ks@hotmail.com . Vivek Singh graduated from IIT Kanpur with B.Tech in Civil Engineering in 1996. He is currently a Software professional and a Principal Architect with Yahoo! R&D, India. This story has been excerpted from his book,”The Reverse Journey,” available at Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Reverse-Journey-Vivek-Kumar-Singh/dp/9381115354 or at Flipkart at http://www.flipkart.com/reverse-journey-first/p/itmdfjfpke4mybku  other stores.

Dreams or Dollars? I Chose Dreams…

My father called me an idiot when I refused to apply for the Green Card. After M. Tech. from IITK, I went to USA for Ph.D. only to return to India to fulfill my dream of developing technologies for rural applications. In the process, I discovered myself — Happiness is not about money, it is about making a difference, doing what you love, and making others happy!

Beginnings…

Born and raised in Lucknow, I went to ST Francis School and later completed B.Tech (ME 1972) and M.Tech (ME 1974) from IITK.  I grew up in a family where politics was savored during breakfast, lunch and dinner.

My father was a well-known political figure in Uttar Pradesh (U.P.) politics. He was a regular columnist in Hindustan – an influential Hindi daily paper. His editorial articles on political matters of U.P. molded the opinion of important people in New Delhi. My father and Shri Ratan Lal Joshi, the editor of daily Hindustan, were in jail together during 1942 independence movement and were close friends. Shri Joshi was also at one time a close confidant of Mrs. Indira Gandhi. My father was also very close to Shri H. N. Bahuguna who was a popular chief minister of U.P. and a strong candidate for future prime ministership of India. I am not dropping these names to impress upon you my upbringing in a politically well-connected family and my exposure to Indian politics from childhood.  You will see its relevance shortly.

Years and Experiences at IITK 

In 2009,  a well known film maker of Mumbai, Shri Sunil Shanbag made video interviewing IIT Kanpur Alumni & former Faculty about their experiences of IITK.
The one hour film was released in July 2009 at IIT Kanpur to commemorate its Golden Jubilee celebration and it is a very good watch happenings at IITK during that time. The youtube link  for my interview (20 mins) is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK7ZDSRAXYg

Trip to USA

After B.Tech, I got a couple of job offers through placement office; however the desire to go to US was strong. I got admission in several universities but no financial aid. I took admission in M.Tech at IITK and decided to apply for PhD later. During M.Tech, I got interested in solar energy. I was lucky to get Government of India Scholarship for Studies Abroad so I did not have to depend on financial aid from US universities. I chose, University of Florida for PhD in mechanical engineering with specialization in solar energy. When the Air India flight took off at midnight on December 29, 1974, I cried. It was a strange experience for me since I always considered myself to be a strong person but a tremendous love for India– the motherland erupted within me. I vowed that I was going to US to learn about technologies that I could come back and use for India’s benefit. I am amazed even today about how that feeling came but it did come with a tremendous force. There was sadness in leaving my family behind but this overwhelming emotion for India was amazing.

When I landed in University of Florida (UF), I did not know a soul. Fortunately, soon I ran into my batch mate Udai Pratap Singh, who I did not know very well in IITK. He was extremely helpful and offered to have me stay with him till I found my own place and agreed to lend me money till I got my scholarship! As I settled, I started taking all sorts of classes that interested me. I did well in my courses. I was not a genius but a hard worker all my life. The hard work paid off. In one of the courses, the professor gave me 150 marks out of 100 due to my extra effort in solving a problem. I took advantage of the opportunity to attend guest lectures of visiting scholars and engaged with them in discussions. I wanted to soak in as much knowledge as possible. I enjoyed my studies and I also enjoyed the quality of life which was so different at that time from that in India.

During my stay at UF, l was lucky to be able to attend a speech by the then candidate for US Presidency Jimmy Carter and meet with the father of US space program Dr. Wernher Von Braun, distinguished professors of mathematics Dr. Ulam and Dr. Popov, and Nobel Laureate in Chemistry Dr. Eigen. I used to attend their lectures and also invited them in graduate seminars that I used to organize.

It was a great experience learning, listening, and just being in the presence of scholars of such high caliber. I thoroughly enjoyed the rich intellectual life that UF offered.

In collaboration with my IITK classmate Udai Pratap Singh we also launched Indian Students’ Association – organized movie screenings, picnics, and newsletter.

During my PhD, I met Nandini – a graduate student in the department of Agronomy. Nandini was smart, tall, opinionated, determined, and came from a very distinguished Maharashtrian family. What attracted me most to Nandini, besides many other things was our common desire to return to India after studies. Though Nandini was born in Tucson, Arizona, and was a US citizen by birth, she, however, grew up in India and had renounced her US citizenship. We developed liking for each other and in spite of a difference of 4” in height (Nandini is 4” taller than me!) we decided to get married in 1976. Both sets of parents accepted our decision. We got married in Florida – unfortunately neither of our parents could attend the wedding.

After my PhD, I stayed back for about 2 ½ years to teach at UF. This was my opportunity to obtain Green Card but I was against getting it because once I had it, it would have been difficult to go back to India. The university administration was very surprised by my decision and my father called me an idiot.

Normally people were ready to give an arm and a leg to get a Green Card and here I was refusing to apply. We also decided that we will not have children in US even though that meant denying them an opportunity to become US citizens by birth. We desperately wanted to return to India. But then I have always been a foolish and arrogant person!

Why did I return to India?

It has been little more than 30 years since I came back from US. In late 1981 when I returned, few Indians with an IIT background used to come back. Even the ones who did come back went to big cities like Bombay, Delhi, Bangalore etc.

Instead of accepting job offers from IIT Bombay, Tata Energy Research Institute, BHEL, or join Piloo Mody’s Swatantra Party,   I chose to work for rural development and went straight to rural Maharashtra to join hands with Nimbkar Agricultural Research Institute (NARI) founded by my in-laws in Phaltan in 1968. Phaltan was as alien to me as any foreign country since I hardly knew the local language or the milieu; I had mostly spent my life in cities in Northern India. Had I gone crazy? Was I following the Sanskrit adage, Vinash Kale Vipareeta Buddhi – before a person’s downfall, his intelligence and ability to make good decisions fail? I was hung up on doing something useful with my life. Was that such a bad decision?

I came back to India because of my arrogance. I thought, with my father’s political and other connections and with the help of scientists like Dr. Atma Ram I would be able to get involved in the energy and technology scene at the National level. Also the inflated notion about my own ability made me believe that I could help change India. How wrong I was! Instead of me changing India, India changed me. I consider my coming back as the detoxification of Anil Rajvanshi! In fact I thank the higher forces for making me think irrationally so that I left everything to come to rural Maharashtra!

I chose Phaltan because this was the only place I knew at that time where I could do something on my own. Thank God for giving me a place, no matter how small, where I could think deeply on issues of rural development, renewable energy and spirituality, reflect on them and write about them. At the same time remaining connected to the outside world via the Internet allowed me to share my thoughts with like-minded people on a much bigger scale.

My decision of coming back to rural Maharashtra was never dictated by altruistic desire of helping India but was due to the selfish reason of doing something meaningful in my life. The challenge of using technology for rural development was tremendous. However, at that time with the knowledge and wisdom that I had, I never planned for long-term goals. I just crossed the bridges as they came. In fact I have never done any long-term planning and have accepted events as they come.

It was not smooth sailing

Initially, there were many struggles. Very soon after coming back the ground realities hit me and all my romantic notions and arrogance vanished. Those days Phaltan was a very difficult place to live and work in. I and Nandini lived for 2 years in slums of Phaltan in a small rented house. We moved into our present house that I designed in early 1984. It is a comfortable house and has a passive cooling system which is very useful for Phaltan climate. Both of us used to daily bicycle to the Institute – a distance of about 3 kms one way. In 1984 my brother who was going to Saudi Arabia as an orthopedic surgeon took pity on me and gave me his old scooter which he had got in 1975 from Chief Minister’s quota. That was our first motorized vehicle.

Just 6 months after coming back to India, with reality and frustration setting in, I decided to return to USA. So Nandini started packing our household goods. After half an hour of packing I suddenly realized that if I also go back to US then I would become another data point among the millions of Indians who are in US. I asked myself “why am I quitting now when I was so proud of taking a different path?” This was the last time I ever gave a thought to quitting. Though I had to suffer through many trials and tribulations later on, the thought of leaving Phaltan never crossed my mind again.

In those days for purchasing even small things one had to go to Pune – a town 100 kms away. When I came to Phaltan there was a flat piece of land where I was supposed to start building my energy lab. The Institute had a small building with almost no other infrastructure. I got an old fan fitted in my office and that was the only fan in the whole Institute. Besides one rarely had electricity so the fan was mostly non-functional! In the early days of setting up my lab, it was very difficult to get engineers and scientists. It took me nearly 4 years to get the lab to become functional and hire decent staff. Even now there is a tremendous problem in getting good staff. The situation has become worse because we cannot compete with the very high pay packets being offered by the industry. The biggest drawback in setting up an Institute in a rural area is getting good people to come and work. The rural infrastructure precludes any long-term commitment by people to work in such institutes. This has been the main reason why NARI has remained a small Institute.

Was it worth it?

Am I happy? Did I accomplish what I planned to? Did I make a difference in someone’s life? Are people better off as a result of my work? The answers to these questions, is resounding YES!

Even with a small staff and infrastructure at NARI we have been able to do commendable work with lots of firsts to our name. Our Institute is well-known nationally and internationally. Our work at NARI has mostly focused on developing devices and policies for rural development with special emphasis on the use of high technology for holistic and sustainable India. It has been an exhilarating experience when some of these technologies and ideas have been picked up nationally and internationally. A glimpse of our work can be seen on our website http://www.nariphaltan.org/ which is extensively accessed worldwide. For our efforts in rural development we have also received quite a few prestigious national and international awards. Examples of what we have done include:

• Lanstove: Our invention of Lanstove http://www.nariphaltan.org/lanstove.pdf , a lantern-cum-stove that cooks while serving as a lantern promises light in homes that have been in the dark for more than 60 years since India became an independent nation. The innovation received the Globe Forum Award in Sweden. The ethanol-based lanstoves (now converted to kerosene-based) have been very well received by the users. We have also developed improved multi-fuel lamp Noorie.
• Biomass Gasifier: Our patented biomass gasifier utilizes loose agricultural waste including bagasse from sugarcane factories in and around Phaltan as well as dried sugarcane leaves. Earlier most of this waste was burnt in the fields causing air pollution. Our gasifier converts this waste into heat which can be used by rural businesses.
• Improved Rickshaws: The motorized  ELECSHA runs for about 60 km with a single battery charge. We have also developed Improved Pedal Rickshaw (IMPRA), Motor- Assisted Pedal Rickshaw (MAPRA) and Motor- Assisted NARI Handicapped Rickshaw (MANHARA) and an electric trike- also for the handicapped.
• Other initiatives include: Solar detoxification of distillery waste, production of syrup and ethanol from sweet sorghum juice, improved breeds of sheep, improved varieties of safflower for seeds and petals. Our work on Taluka energy self-sufficiency became a national policy.

Could I have done more? Certainly. However, I believe that  all these pioneering efforts have not only improved lives of people around us ,they also have inspired people all over the world. This has given me a great satisfaction.  Working at NARI has also given me time to write.  You can see my blog on Speaking Tree at http://www.speakingtree.in/anilkrajvanshi/blog

I invite you to join me in living a simple but meaningful life

I came back with tremendous idealism to see a change in India for the better, to see the rural areas become progressive and the general level of living of majority of people to improve. In 30 years I have seen the tremendous rise of middle class in cities, the wealthy becoming ultra-wealthy and the corruption increasing manifold. With a large number of shopping malls full of consumer goods and an improvement in their so-called “standard of living” the upward bound middle class in cities gets a feeling that India has arrived. Yet 60% of our rural population lives without electricity and without the basic amenities of life. India is a young society with 54% of its population being below 25 years’ of age. The aspirations of this young generation, majority of whose members live in rural India are not being fulfilled. It is these people who are the future of India and yet it is sad to see that there is no national debate or seriousness of purpose on how to improve their lot.

Educated and smart youngsters, who can play a very important role in rural development, are not interested as they define success in terms of a big car, a big house and a huge salary. They need to stop thinking on these lines. Sometimes I also feel that there is a shortage of good role models for these youngsters for developing their minds and reshaping their thinking.

If you are looking for a challenging career, problems of our rural population offer the greatest challenge for any engineer or technologist.  I feel that simple as well as high-tech solutions are available to solve these problems; only if we are willing to solve them and willing to endure initial hardships. If we can improve the lives of our rural population then we would have solved the problems of 1/5th of mankind! I challenge youngsters to come forward by giving up corporate cubicles for fresh air of open fields to solve the problems of the masses.

I have no regrets about coming back to India and especially to Phaltan, because I cannot imagine having done the things that I have done here anywhere else – more so in the US. Besides, living in rural Indian setting teaches you many things.

For a starter it makes you spiritual! With hardly any avenues to spend money on and availability of very few amenities, one starts living a simple life which is the first step towards spirituality. Initially one does not like it but with time one starts to enjoy the benefits of simplified life.

One can live a simple, high thinking and emotionally satisfying life in much less energy. This does not mean that we should live a primitive life. What is needed is to curb our consumptive lifestyle which promotes greed for resources.

I, therefore, feel very lucky to have come to rural India so that I could develop this feeling of simplicity in my daily life and now I feel that it is my duty and responsibility to spread the message. I invite you to join me in living a simple but meaningful life. I have always believed that the purpose of human beings is to first become happy and self-contented and then give something back to the society. Coming back to rural India has helped me to do both.

As I have become internally more secure, the level of contentment has also increased. I also feel that through our work we have been able to give back something to the society.

Nevertheless in these matters one should try to follow one’s inner voice. If the parameters of success are to be dictated by others then one cannot claim to be internally secure and content. The measures of success and failure should be honestly evaluated by oneself.

To a lot of people, I may have been a failure when after so much promise in US I left everything to come back to rural India, but I use the measure of my contentment and find that I have not done that badly!

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Dr. Anil Rajvanshi graduated from IIT Kanpur with B.Tech. and M. Tech in Mechanical Engineering (1972 and 1974) and PhD from University of Florida in 1978. A very good and complementary interview of his IITK days is available on Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK7ZDSRAXYg. He is the Director of Nimbkar Agricultural Research Institute http://www.nariphaltan.org/, Phaltan, Maharashtra. Dr. Rajvanshi does research and development work in rural technologies, and writes and educates extensively all over the world on issues of technology and sustainable development. He is also interested in spirituality and regularly writes on Speaking Tree at http://www.speakingtree.in/anilkrajvanshi/blog.  We encourage you to communicate with him by posting your comments on the blog or directly writing to him at anilrajvanshi@gmail.com . He invites you to join him in living a simple but meaningful life.

Top 10 at School, JEE Rank 101. Thought Conquering IITK was about Grades. But 30 Years Down the Line ………

I cracked IIT JEE with Rank 101, and went to IITK, considered academically the toughest and challenging of all IITs. IITK shocked this winner by awarding SPI of 6.7 out of 10 in the first semester. I proudly declared to my friends in Hall 2 Mess, “A mistake and fluke. I will score 10 in each subsequent semesters and will end up with a final CPI of 9.6.”  That was 30 years ago… But the moment and incident is still etched in my memory… Did I score 10 each semester? Did my grades matter later? How did IITK transform the once shy, socially inept, grade-driven teacher’s pet into a Dramatics enthusiast and a Security In-Charge of all IITK Events? How did my later choices transform me, someone who started with a Sales Job into a Coach at IIT Mentors?  If you want to find out, please read on…

Hi, my name is Chandra Kant and I graduated from IIT Kanpur in 1985.

Beginnings

My father worked for the Indian Railways, was posted mostly in small villages and got transferred frequently; causing disruption in my early schooling. When, one day, I returned from school after having learnt some of the choicest swear-words, my mother declared that we should forget about the small village Railway job and settle down in one city. We settled down in Bokaro, a small upcoming town, where I had all my schooling. In Bokaro at that time there was little social company for children of my age. I was a shy person, especially in this new environment and did not interact well with others. But I did develop a deep love for reading (novels in addition to my text books). I was among the top 10 students academically throughout my school life and was a teachers’ pet. I thought highly of myself, had an inflated ego, believed that I could do anything, and that I did not need anyone. Well, to be fair, to a school boy academics and marks are everything, and I exceeded all expectations all the time.  As a side effect, I continued to remain socially inactive and awkward, a low priority for a school boy. I did not develop any social skills, only academic skills.

The JEE Dazzle & Subsequent IITK Welcome

I cracked IIT JEE with an All India Rank (AIR) of 101 and dazzled the City of Bokaro. IIT-JEE was the most coveted exam and produced excellent Engineers and I joined the company of some of the best minds of the country. I selected Electrical Engineering at IIT Kanpur and went forth to conquer IITK. Back then, I was academically good, socially terrible, overweight and very sensitive. Those days, IITK had the tradition of physical ragging and I was a butt of lots of physical ragging. Fortunately I had a relative as local guardian. So to escape ragging, I started to stay at my relatives’ house nearby. Psychologically, I could not cope with it.

The whole of first year, because of low self-esteem, I was plagued with respiratory problems and was hospitalized often.

Once the ragging was over, I emerged from my cave.  In the very 1st semester I realized that there are lots of things to do, apart from studying. Since all my life I had studied, I went the opposite way, counting on my past ‘brilliance’ for good grades. Dramatics interested me and I quickly got involved in a play, rehearsing late into the night and missing morning classes while catching up on sleep. Since I had not interacted with seniors during ragging, I did not understand the level of competition for good grades and the amount of study required.  In my arrogance, I also ignored all advice from well-wishers and roomie.

In the first semester I scored 6.7. That came as a shocker. How could the Brilliant Guy, The Consistent School Top 10, Teacher’s Pet, IIT JEE Rank 101 get a 6.7/10?  Must be a mistake.  So “Nonetheless,” I famously declared to my friends in Hall 2 mess, “I will score 10 in each subsequent semesters, and therefore end up with 9.6.” (We were the last 5 year batch.) I dropped Dramatics, attended all classes and sure enough, I got great scores…7.9.  Oops !!…

The Introspection & Enlightenment

After getting 7.9 in the 2nd Semester, I did a lot of introspection. Empirical data of the 1st year made it clear that I was not cut out for academics and somehow I had to survive.  My brilliance had failed me; even dropping Dramatics resulted in only a minor improvement.  So, I started depending on my friends to get me through by teaching the barest minimum required to get by. I focused on what I loved doing best and was getting passionate about, Dramatics. In hindsight, I suppose Dramatics was a way of avoiding the truth about my laziness in studying, and an escape to keep me busy and justify my laziness in studying. I had applied to join the Counseling Service as a student counselor / guide, as I felt that I could be of service. My application was rejected. I think it was because I told the interviewers that I still believed that I could get a CGPI of 9 or above. I suppose it meant that I was still not in touch with reality.

Dramatics, Technical Drawing, and My Big Size Became My Saviors

My involvement in Dramatics saved me. If I had not get involved in Dramatics, I think, I would have been miserable. I did go through a bad phase and even tried “stuff” to numb down the pain.  I changed my circle of friends and rooms often because I could not adjust to their style of functioning.

Dramatics helped me create a lot of friends; people recognized me and I gradually gained self-esteem from their appreciation of my dramatics skills. I also got me noticed by my professors (whom I diligently invited to all my plays) and I was able to have conversations with them which helped me not to fear them, regardless of my grades.

The biggest boost to my grades and confidence came when I topped the Technical Drawing course. I started taking tutorials for the juniors, which were better attended than the professor’s class!!  It helped me to build the much-needed rapport with my juniors and batchmates, which would have been impossible based on the grades. I used whatever talents I had to build rapport and I actually became popular among juniors and my batchmates. Also, I had academic help from my friends. Life once again looked good.

My respiratory issues miraculously disappeared in second year, therefore could be considered psychological in origin.

I re-applied for a position in the Counseling Service. Due my rapport with the juniors, I got selected. I really worked hard with my counselees and they appreciated it so much that they canvassed on my behalf for Hall 2 General Body Representative Elections. I did not even go seeking for votes, assuming that since people knew me, they would vote for me.  I learnt that helping people selflessly was good for me. I also worked on the computerization and process creation of the counseling process. I discovered computers and I spent all my free hours doing programming. I had found my other passion!

My huge physical size also turned out to be an asset. I got appointed in-charge of security for most cultural events like SPIC-MACAY!! Although I was not interested in classical music etc., by virtue of being security in-charge, I attended all such events and learnt to appreciate Indian music, dance and western classical music.  My friends, too, introduced me to poetry, old Hindi songs, pop and rock music. Coming from a small town in Bihar, I had no exposure to this wealth of knowledge.

Academics In Retrospect

In retrospect, I realize that I didn’t pay enough attention on academics throughout my stint at IIT Kanpur. I took electives because other friends took them, without knowing whether they would be helpful or whether I would pass them. Some of these courses were tough and were really bad choices for me.

Interestingly, I think I passed one of them because I offered a Professor a smoke during end-semester exam. I was a smoker and the professor had run out of tobacco during the end-term exam; I offered him mine!!… Thinking back, now it looks ridiculous but I need to tell the sort of ideas I had.  I had no idea what sort of jobs were available, what I wanted to do in the future, and I lived life one day at a time.

This carelessness and care-free attitude showed its result during placement season, when the only job I could get was in sales and not in technology, that too, for a princely sum of Rs. 1,000 per month. I suppose this had also to do with the fact that I was so unclear about placement, that I did not know what I was supposed to do in order to get a good job. My interviews were terrible. Other friends around me had better ideas about what they wanted to do – Civil Services, Higher Studies and applying to companies like Tata Unisys and Tata Consultancy Services to go abroad. They took the advice of their seniors and prepared accordingly. I remained blissfully unaware.

This dumbness continued even after IITK. The same superiority complex and expectations, that I am an IITian and people should look up to me, and that I am capable of anything, made me botch up 2 years of corporate life and corporate relationships, and if I had not been selected in IIM Calcutta, I would have been out of a job. I was lucky. IIM Calcutta sort of woke me up from my stupor and I got a bit worldly-wise.

But, I suppose that naiveté saved me from a psychological breakdown as I did not worry about the future. I also believed that good things will always happen. I was lucky to have friends who supported me, and to have parents who did not question what I did or what I planned to do in the future. Depression happens when you think about the future and you seem to have no choices. Fear happens when we imagine a future that has all negative things happening. Living a day at a time helps when the future is not clear.

30 Years Later

Life has come full circle now. I have now become a professor. I left corporate life at the age of 45 to teach in a private business school founded by an IIT K alumnus, in Bangalore.

I had learnt in corporate life that technical skills are not enough, and we need the right attitude and relationship skills to do well in jobs.

This is what I teach in my courses and even published a book on how to be an effective manager. I also became a certified counselor and do emotional counseling and career mentoring for all my students and ex-students, who have similar issues about academics and pressure.

What Did IITK and My Life After IITK Teach Me?

For me, IITK was the place that taught me everything I know about culture, friendship, loyalty and different types of people, although, I daresay, I did not learn much academically.

The lessons I learnt at IITK and now during my counseling practice:

1.  Friends and relationships are important

• These friends are the ones who taught me all I know, and they supported me when I needed help. Even now, my network of friends comes real handy with jobs and careers.
• With the advent of social media, our circle of friends has increased but the depth of friendship has decreased. Thus our relationships have become shallow. It is hard to accept, but is a fact of life. The effect is that there is a very small support circle in case of psychological breakdowns and during really tough times. In IITK, our friendships were few but deep and there was a lot of emotional support.
• Since we are not interacting face-to-face, we have lost the subtle signs, the verbal and facial clues that indicate emotions in others. This creates barriers in evolving deep relationships as we do not understand the emotions behind the words.

2.  Don’t Expect or Seek Parental/Teacher Approval for Everything

• Since childhood, we have been helped, taken care of and even compared with others, to make us perform our best. Failures are few and we are never taught how to handle our failures. The approval of parents and teachers seem conditional on our good performance, be it in academics or in any field, and coming second or last does not seem acceptable. We are always compared with others. This creates a lot of self-esteem issues and we measure our value in terms of how others see us or what we can give to them. This leads us to seek others’ approval in many forms. The reality is that handling failures comes gradually. First step is acknowledging that failure is temporary and success will follow. Remember the times we failed to walk as child, or the time it took to learn to ride a bicycle. Falling down is a part of the process.
• Parents do put a lot of pressure on children, because they believe, in all good intentions, that it is necessary for survival and competition.
• We should find alternate means of satisfying our need for approval and recognition, academics is not the only way.
• Academics is important depending on your goals. Most interviewers do not look only for grades; they want to know if you will fit into their corporate culture and have got soft skills/communication skills.

3.  Become Emotionally Resilient

• People expect a lot from us. This binds us into an endless performance loop which can lead to negative emotions of fear, anger and depression. (Remember the Star Wars/Yoda). The stiff competition for IIT-JEE already burns out most students, and once in IIT or MBA, they want to chill out as they think they have got it made.  This doesn’t work, because you are competing with some of the best minds of the country and no one is going to be winner in everything. Checkout this excellent video about Secret to Happy Work http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html
•  We judge ourselves too harshly and prematurely for not coming up to our expectations and our failures. We also disconnect from our close ones because of their expectations and their judgments about us. Even the best of us do not how to handle the breakdowns and failures.
• Getting frustrated, angry and depressed when we are unable to get what we really want is natural. It becomes worse when we do not know who to turn to, who to trust and how to ask for help. Remember that anger comes when we do not meet our expectations, or others do not meet our expectations. Depression is strongly related to perceived lack of choice. When we feel that we have no choice, we get depressed. When we have psychological problems, we cannot see the wood from the trees. Asking for psychological/emotional help is natural and the social stigma attached with failures is unwarranted and misplaced. Every human being undergoes these emotions at one point or another and needs help at that point.
• We are always told stories about failure and the result of failures by well-meaning relatives and ‘uncles’, who foretell how we will live a life of poverty if we do not do things their way. We believe that money is everything and therefore poverty or inability to spend terrifies us. These warnings are misplaced.  The future is unwritten, and the past is gone. The unknown future looks bleak, because of the fears created inside us by our parents, teachers and other ‘uncles’. But it is more in our imagination than a reality.  So make the best of the present and future will be fine.

4.  We need to find our strengths and work with them

• All of us are capable of doing great things. We simply need to find out what our passion is. IITK is a great place to find this passion. The more we go out and participate in non-academic things, the more we can find out what we love doing. I found and developed programming and dramatics as two passions.
• It is no use looking at our weaknesses and working on them to remove them.  These are familiar weaknesses and we should leave them as they are and work around them. Similarly in subjects, we should focus on those subjects that we can do well, and leave the others alone, simply doing enough to get by. Focusing on subjects we are not good at is not really a good return on our investment in time.
• We have to develop strengths in understanding relationships, people, and how to socialize and work in groups. IITK celebrates individual achievement more than group achievement, but the ability to work in groups is very important in corporate life.

In conclusion

I hope you find my story helpful. I remained a not-so-great student academically, but I gained a wealth of knowledge in other ways.  What life has taught me and I want to communicate to you all and emphasize on is “Find your own path, focus on your strengths, and follow your passion.”  If you need any advice on dealing with emotional problems, career mentoring or what really matters in the corporate world to survive and grow, please do contact me at coach@chandra-kant.com

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Chandra Kant graduated from IIT Kanpur with B.Tech. in Electrical Engineering in 1985. He did his PGDM from IIM Calcutta in 1989. He has been an Information Technology Consultant for 25 years and still serves on the Board of Advisors for several startups. He is currently a Professor of Management Skills and IT in Indus Business Academy, an Autonomous Business School founded by an alumnus of IIT Kanpur. He is also a Certified Counselor and helps students and alumni in emotional counseling and career mentoring. He is part of the IIT Mentors Group http://www.iitmentors.org . His detailed profile can be seen at http://www.linkedin.com/in/efficacy. He blogs at www.chandra-kant.com.

We encourage you to communicate with him by posting your comments on the blog or directly writing to him at coach@chandra-kant.com.  He is available to those who may need advice on emotional issues or skills needed for corporate survival.

I was told that I had “zero possibility” of getting into a top 100 PhD program

Today I am working towards my Ph.D. with the #1 professor in my field. Don’t lose hope. If you really want to do something, you will find a way ….

From as far back as I can remember I have always enjoyed teaching and that was my long term goal.  After finishing my BTech from the Bengal Engineering and Science University (formerly known as Bengal Engineering College), Shibpur, I joined IIT Kanpur for MTech in 2007 with a simple plan: I wanted to do PhD from a reputed university so that I can then get to teach in some engineering college. But 6 months down the line, my plan went haywire.. my CPI at the end of semester 1  was 7.5; in MTech a CPI of 8.0 is considered average and my rank at one point was 14^th or 16^th out of 20. During a casual discussion with my supervisor I was told that with a CPI less than 8.0 there was “zero possibility” of getting into a top 100 PhD program.

No margin for error

Well, I think my relatively low CPI was mostly due to two things. First, I got exposed to a lot of activities all at once. At one particular time I was the student placement co-ordinator, student guide in the counselling service and was also taking French and guitar classes. I think this happens to quite a lot of students who come from colleges where there are not too many “non-academic” activities.

Secondly, the grading system at IITK is particularly unfair for post-graduate students. We were exposed to a completely new system of exams and we take only 8 courses during the entire program. With even-point grading system (A=10, B=8, C=6, D=4, F=2), a small slip-up gets your CPI down by 0.25. I remember, one of the mid-semester exams where we were allowed to carry with us one sheet of paper filled with any information we deemed fit. I had no idea about what to include on the sheet of paper; so I decided to add as many things as possible keeping font size as small as I could read. I managed to stuff the entire syllabus in the sheet! I went to the exam hall very confident but found that my sheet couldn’t help me solve even one question; and I got a zero in an exam for the first time in my life! Luckily it was just a mid-semester exam. I think it took me time to understand the nuances of open book, take home exams and the likes. By then it was too late and since we only had 2 semesters worth of course work, one couldn’t really bounce back from such setbacks.  The second semester was not too great either and by the end of it I was convinced that there was absolutely no way I could get admitted to a decent PhD program.

A point worth noting is that more than half of the time spent during the MTech program is on thesis work (about 12-14 months out of 22). Quality of the thesis is also more important to professors looking for PhD students. However there are no grades awarded for thesis; thus I think CPI is not as important in the context of MTech.

Is there really NO way I could do what I wanted to?

Maybe people around me were right. Maybe there was no way I could do what I wanted to do, i.e., have a career in academics. My supervisors and seniors managed to convince me that I would probably not get a PhD in a decent place with only masters degree from IIT and a CPI of 7.33; so I stopped preparing for the GRE and decided to enjoy my thesis as much as I could. Also 2009 was a year of recession so my duties as the placement co-ordinator kept me really busy and pre-occupied. Initially I was not too worried about landing a job, but when companies one after the other started refusing to come for placements, I started suffering from sleepless nights. This was when I started questioning my earlier decision to not accept a job offer at SAIL (Steel Authority of India Limited) after BTech and instead join IITK for MTech. Suddenly help came from an unexpected corner. During a candid discussion with my thesis supervisor I told him how much I was enjoying the thesis work, but how I was also regretting my decision to refuse a placement offer with SAIL and do MTech instead. It was then that he assured me that he would help me get a job in case on-campus placement efforts don’t work out, provided I didn’t let the intensity of my thesis work go down.

I never really felt any peer pressure. Perhaps this was due to the fact that my friends had similar grades as mine. All of us by now had decided that CPI was important only if we wanted to pursue a PhD somewhere.  We all agreed to have as much fun as possible during the thesis and forget the PhD goal. Joint GRE preparation session turned into simple adda at the canteen. My parents never put any pressure on me with regards to grades; in fact the last time they enquired about my marks and grades was way back in 2002 when I was in class 12^th. I think it was mainly due to the fact that my parents had enough confidence in me. So there was no real problem there.

Once on-campus placements started, in my first interview, the interviewer asked me something about Finite Element accuracy, I had no clue as to what he was asking. I just mumbled “physical intuition”, to which one of the interviewer remarked “That is a top answer” and my interview was over; just one question, no discussion about having the lowest grades among those selected for the interview. Later I was told that I had topped the written test for the job. I was offered the job but as the luck would have it, the company suffered several reverses and the project I was selected for got postponed by a few months. I thought a 4-6 month holiday at home was not really an option and so I started teaching in a private engineering college close to my home. It was a wonderful experience for me, I really enjoyed giving the lectures. I loved the fact that I managed to get a lot of attention from my students, I liked talking about engineering and liked being surrounded by people interested in hearing me talk. This experience also further confirmed that without any research experience, I could never be a good teacher. All I felt I was doing was translating stuff from the text book and narrating it to the class. To put it simply, I was just indulging in “high school teaching.” I realized that I didn’t really have enough knowledge to be a good teacher in a college/university. PhD was an absolute must. 

Why are you so ambitious? Do you want to be Kalpana Chawla?

I finished my three months’ contract with the college, accepted the earlier job offer and started working in Bangalore. Things in my company were depressing to say the least. The project I was hired to work on got further delayed and I was benched indefinitely. I just had to login to work. I had access to the internet and lots of free coffee to drink. This continued for about 6 months.  This was when the memories of my experiences of teaching started hitting me. There was not a single day when I didn’t think about how good it felt to have people listen to my lectures. I knew I had to somehow look at a career in full time teaching long-term and for that I needed to somehow get a PhD. I turned once again to my supervisors who told me that with my CPI they couldn’t take me even in IITK without an interview. I applied for the PhD program at IITK and got an interview call. I was fairly confident that the interview in itself was just a formality, since my M.Tech supervisors wanted to keep me. I didn’t apply to any other institute.

What happened in the interview room was pure horror for me. The first sentence that I heard was from one of the professors in the panel who actually told me that it was evident from my grades that I was not really interested in studying and the only reason I want to do PhD is due to the fact that I got fired from my job.

The panel just refused to look at my MTech thesis and also disregarded the fact that my supervisor wanted to recruit me, he obviously had confidence in my abilities.

I came back to Bangalore feeling a mixture of emotions; I was embarrassed, angry and also wanted to prove a point to the panel that what they were thinking was wrong; I had to find a way. My friends and colleagues thought it was very stupid of me not to apply to other IITs, to this day I am called “Ek goli-ka shikari”- a hunter who goes hunting with only one bullet in his arsenal.

So I started randomly applying to all PhD programs that were even remotely linked to my thesis and experience. The free internet and coffee of my company helped me a lot during this search. It was also during this time that the project I was hired for finally got approved and now my company wanted me to work. It was fair from their point of view, but I now wanted to prepare a bit for the impending interviews.  With no PhD offers in hand I decided to quit my job. I had saved enough money to sustain myself for a few months.

However, I experienced a lot of pressure from relatives, neighbours and the society in general. One of my uncles told me “tum ko kaunsa Kalpana Chawla banna hai- pata nahin kyon itna ambtion hai? XYZ ko dekho tumhare saath engineering kiya, ab 50k earn kar raha aur tum ghar main baithe ho” (Do you want to be Kalpana Chawla, what is the reason for so much ambition, look at your friend who was your classmate in engineering, he now earns 50K a month and you are jobless).

Those were really tough days, but my parents never doubted my abilities and that helped a lot.

A Rank of 257 in GATE was more diagnostic of my worth than an M.Tech. CPI of 7.33

Finally, after waiting for a couple of months, I got a few interview calls (a couple from top 100 universities list of Times Higher Education). I was very apprehensive about interviews; my previous interview for a PhD opening was horrible to say the least. Even though my CPI was low, I believed that IITK had prepared me well for PhD in two ways. First, it instilled a certain level of confidence and faith in my ability. Second, thesis work is taken seriously by professors at IITK. It is great preparation for PhD, no amount of course work can ever replicate that in my opinion.

I had a telephone interview with a professor at Katholieke University of Leuven, Belgium – one of the top universities in the world in the field of composites [www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/world-university-rankings/2011-2012/europe.html]  I was pleasantly surprised when there were no questions at all about grades, my to-be supervisor asked me about how I got into IITK? When I told him that there were about 25,000 students appeared in GATE and I was ranked 257, he found the numbers absolutely stunning. In fact he reconfirmed whether I meant 25,000 or 2500. The project I was hired for was a good match with my thesis work and I duly got the offer. I am now doing PhD work at Katholieke University of Leuven, Belgium. My research group is well known in the field of composites. In fact, according to Microsoft Academic Search database, both my supervisor (Stepan Lomov #12) and co-supervisor (Ignace Verpoest #1) make it to the top 12 of the most prolific researchers in the field of composite materials. [http://academic.research.microsoft.com/RankList?entitytype=2&topDomainID=12&subDomainID=3&last=0&start=1&end=100]

One day I asked my supervisor why he was not bothered about my MTech grades before giving me admission to PhD program. He said that if I was good enough to execute my master thesis so well, I was also good enough for the PhD. He said he looked at my grades keeping in mind how tough it is to get into IIT and that competition must be really hard within the class as well.

I recently finished my first year of PhD with the world’s best professors in my field. On the yearly review my professor remarked that in terms of where a PhD student should be at the end of year one, I was way above average. I felt really happy with his remark. I have finally proven that I am indeed capable of doing PhD quality work irrespective of my grades or what my professors at IITK told me. I am finally doing what I am genuinely interested in.

Ignore the people who tell you can’t do something, because you absolutely can if you put your mind to it

The best advice I ever got and would like to share with others is that our admission in IIT is not a matter of chance; there is a reason – we are intelligent, focused, and hardworking and that needs to be kept in mind even when things don’t go as planned initially. I don’t want to sound elitist but even the student who is at the bottom of his class in IIT was at one time in the top 1% of the country. So don’t listen to people who tell you can’t do something because you can and you are good enough.

During my MTech program, I had 4 interviews: one job interview through the placement office just before finishing the MTech and 3 interviews for admission to PhD program after leaving IITK. There were absolutely no questions asked regarding my CPI and grades. It was enough for the interviewer that I had been accepted into the IIT and that my thesis was relevant to their work. Keep in mind that it is generally believed that grades are sacrosanct for admission in the PhD program.

On a somewhat unrelated note, another piece of advice I would like to give is to be responsible in dealing with people. For a lot of people low CPI is a cause of worry because it doesn’t help you get a good job. This can be avoided if you behave responsibly and have good relationships with professors. During my stint as a placement co-ordinator, I met different professors from my department to request them for help with placement. My plea to all of them was quite simple, there are about 30 BTech students, 5 dual degree students and 15 MTech students adding to a total of 50 students looking for jobs. If all the 25 odd faculty members help two students each then there would be a 100% rate of placement. Almost all the professors remarked that this could indeed be done but in the past all of them at some time or the other had bad experiences with students “who would join a rival company even if the salary offered was one Rupee higher” which had resulted in a loss of face for the faculty who had helped the student get the job in the first place. I understand that everybody wants more money but maintaining transparency and responsibly dealing with people would definitely lead to more participation from the faculty. Responsible behaviour from students would therefore be part of the solution towards ensuring that even students with low CPI get jobs.

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Atul Jain, featured in this story, completed his MTech from IITK in 2009 and is currently a PhD student at Katholieke University of Leuven, Belgium  — among the top 100 universities in the world. We encourage you to communicate with him. Please post your comments or write to him at atulatj@gmail.com

By the time I graduated, I had 10 A’s and 11 F’s

Everything that bothered me, everything that gave me shame or guilt, I had it discussed with at least one person; and people didn’t reject me. Today, I have a successful career with an MNC as Software Development Engineer.

Academically, I went through a really tough time at IIT Kanpur. It is not an experience that I boast about or am comfortable sharing publicly. I have, therefore, concealed my identity so that my co-workers do not stop taking me seriously. I have not yet mustered enough courage to share the truth with many others who are very close to me. Still, there are enough details that I am willing to share so that the readers may find my story helpful in their own struggle.

Humble beginnings

I was a good student like most of you. In high school, I was a District topper in Bihar Board 10th exam and had topped School from 8th onwards. For the 12^th grade, I received Rotary Scholarship, scholarship from local MLA, and my community also gave me monthly money for studies that I was to pay back without interest. I also tutored to support myself. My father, a 4^th grade government employee, had limited income. I am the oldest of three boys. My mother is a house wife with little education. I wanted to get a job after 12^th grade so that I could help my family. I applied for several jobs including a job as an Airman; but got rejected.  I started studies in a BSc program but did not complete it. Someone advised me to take the IIT-JEE. I was successful on my second attempt and secured a rank of 1600. I got admission at IITK in metallurgy. Rotary and our MLA did not give me any financial assistance to go to IIT. Lion’s Club, however, provided me with some financial assistance and IITK gave me merit-cum-means (MCM) scholarship. Things were looking good.

I could do it if I wanted to, but …

At IITK, I was like a kid in a candy store. There were too many things to do and try. I joined the Book Club, played computer games all day, read dirty books, etc…. You get the picture. In the first semester I got an SPI of 6.6. In the 2nd semester I failed all Courses and got an SPI of 2.0 and was put on academic probation. I lost my MCM scholarship. I needed to improve my CPI to get back the scholarship without which I would not be able to continue in the program.  I lied to my parents to get some money to survive. I also borrowed money from the Students Benefit Fund at IITK.

I did very well in my 3^rd semester and got a SPI of 9.1. This got me back the MCM scholarship. The late Prof. R. Balasubramaniam was especially very helpful to me. But in the 4th semester again, my SPI dropped to 5.1. I took summer courses, and failed 2 out of 6 courses.

During the 4^th semester, I developed romantic feelings for a local girl (not an IITK student). Things did not work out. It took me three years to get over the heartbreak. That did not help with my academics either.

I failed the Engineering Graphics course 3 times (skipped the exam all 3 times) , had to drop it in my 9th semester because of a time table clash and was the only course left in the 10th semester to do and passed it with a D Grade. Engineering Graphics professor Dr. Banerjee explained the need to pass the course and went out of his way to allow me to complete the labs that I had missed. However, that was something which was offered to me by other professors too. I did not accept their offers as I felt that they were doing me favor and would think less of me because of those favors. However, Dr. Banerjee appeared to be an educationist first and a grader second, which was why I felt comfortable in attending the extra labs.  When the F list came out and my name wasn’t there, I asked Dr. Banerjee if he had passed me out of mercy and he said, “No, you passed it on your own merit.”  I felt good.

I failed my B.Tech project thrice. (The professor failed everybody the first time. I didn’t appear for the presentation on the second attempt) and finally did both parts in the 9th semester. I wanted to do an excellent job on the B.Tech project and really put in some effort. Fortunately in the end I was able to find a topic which was interesting enough and a guide who was demanding but encouraging as well. Dr. Ashish Garg, my project advisor, was strict but was a perfectionist. Once I got interested in the project work, I realized that I too was a perfectionist. I enjoyed working with Prof. Garg. I did a great job on the project and got an A grade and also won best poster award in an international conference.

There were so many conflicting thoughts wreaking havoc in my mind. There was a guilt that I was sucking up my family resources for an education at IITK instead of helping the family that could hardly afford to make ends meet. I was not able to guide my younger brothers while I needed guidance myself. I knew that a degree from IIT was important to me but I was failing all these courses. I needed favors from professors but did not want to accept those favors as I was too proud. I saw that there were students at IITK who were good at sports, academics, social skills and here I was with poor grades, little social skills, and few friends. Did I even deserve to be at IITK? Was I punishing myself by failing in all these courses?

By the time I graduated with a BTech in MME, I had 10 A’s and 11 F’s and a grade sheet full of F * and FR * with a CGPA of 7.2/10.    Failing courses at IIT was a nightmare and I barely managed to survive that. I couldn’t get a job on campus though getting F’s had less of a role than my inability to clear the interviews. I had little communication skills.

What is surprising is not that I finally graduated in 5-years instead of 4, but how I kept going. How did I manage not to take the extreme step that some in my situation would have taken? What helped me? What can help others?

I almost killed myself…….What kept me going?

I got interested in Shiksha Sopan. The experience helped me understand that there are people who are in worse shape than I am. How can I give up? I have so much more. If they can see hope, I certainly can. I realized that I NEEDED an IITK degree. I deserved it! I could DO it. My conversations with Prof. H.C. Verma and my interaction with Shiksha Sopan kids kept me in touch with my roots.  I never got frustrated enough to lose faith in myself. Besides Prof. Verma, Professor Banerjee and Prof. Brahm Deo were very sympathetic and understanding.

During the 3^rd semester I also attended the Art of Living course offered on campus on Yoga and Sudarshan Kriya. It gave me peace of mind.

After our 7th semester, the whole department went for an industrial tour of 10 days to Mumbai and Pune as part of the curriculum. I had a near death experience in Mumbai when I tried to board a running train in which my classmates had already boarded. It wasn’t a suicide attempt, just a mistake which could have ended my life.  I still remember it, train speeding up and I am trying to hold on to gate desperately trying to get in and suddenly I am thrown on the ground. Train is still running. Those few seconds, I thought I was under the train tracks and I was going to die. Those few seconds, my life flashed in front of me, my failings, my successes and my loved ones. All the cherished dreams and I remembered my mother, my family, the girl who had broken my heart and I realized I wanted to live. I was not ready for death. I loved my family and I wanted to see them, to go back home, to laugh with them and help them in their struggles. Who would be stupid enough to die when you have such loved ones to live for and so many dreams?

The reality of it was an eye opener. Having been so near death, I was convinced for life that suicide is simply not an option for anyone and even those who do it must be terribly afraid in those last few moments of their life. But perhaps by that time it would have been too late for them. Regardless of my failures and whether or not I got the IIT degree, it was clear to me that I would never do anything to harm myself. My life wasn’t my own. I owed it to the people who brought me to this world, who trusted me and gave all they had so that I could have a better life and were counting on me to graduate and help them. I owed it to all those people who had enriched my life by just being there for me. I couldn’t die before I had fulfilled my duties to them, not even by accident, forget by suicide.

When I went back home that year, I told my parents about the incident. Even before I told what I saw and remembered, my mother was in tears. My father told me that my mother had dreamed about it almost at the same time I had the accident. (It was about 8 pm in winters and people sleep early at my home) and I realized the world is connected in more ways than you can imagine and perhaps there is a God after all. I turned to God for my answers. Soon afterwards I joined ISKCON.

My experience with ISKCON was very positive. It gave me emotional resilience. The philosophy of “leave results to Krishna, just do your best” encouraged me whenever I found myself in a hole. And I was in hole often! How can it get worse? I just have to stop digging the hole.

I realized that everything changes. Nothing is permanent.  I learned to keep going believing that this phase will pass too. Many who take extreme step of committing suicide remain bottled up. They take every failure too seriously. They take every failure as a reflection of poor self-worth. I never let my failures frustrate or depress me enough to give up believing in myself.

There was one more reason why I didn’t take the extreme step. Everything that bothered me, everything that gave me shame or guilt, I had it discussed with at least one other person; and people didn’t reject me. There was one thing, that could have caused me to take extreme step … it wasn’t academics or grades. But it was a cause for my poor grades. I still cannot talk about it even to my closest family members. I discussed it with Dr. Alok Bajpai, the psychiatrist at the counseling service at IITK. He gave me a medical reason for my problem and said it was okay. While his acceptance didn’t take away the guilt, however, it gave me enough support that I didn’t think about taking the extreme step. Overall counseling service staff was very helpful especially Mrs. Sharmishtha Chakraborty and Dr. Onkar Dixit. However, my academic performance continued to be lackluster.

Life after IITK

Life did not go smoothly even after graduation from IITK. I felt maladjusted in my first job. I was not getting along with my co-workers and roommates. I changed 5 houses in 4 years. A friend recommended and agreed to pay for the Landmark Education course http://www.landmarkeducation.co.in His condition was that he would pay for the course and I would return him the money only if I found the course useful. It proved to be a life saver. The course helped me to be at ease with myself no matter what the circumstances were. It gave me the power to effectively act in those areas that were important to me. It made me aware of my thinking process and guided me in my action plan. It released me from the clutches of my past and helped me look at the future. I felt like I could now move on.

Didn’t employers care about my 11F’s?

I couldn’t get a job on campus though getting F’s had less of role than my inability to clear the interviews. I had little communication skills. I sought friends’ help. They conducted mock interviews and helped me improve. A friend of mine who graduated from IIT Delhi, who himself found a job after being rejected 25 times, gave me an e-mail address of the CEO of his employer. I got hired because I demonstrated my analytical skills, logical thinking, and ability to learn fast. I could convince them that I was passionate about things that interested me and overall I am a hardworking individual.

Many of my interviewers were not convinced by my explanations for why I ended up getting so many F’s. There were also several companies that did not care about grades — to them what mattered was that I had graduated from an IIT and had done well in the written test and interview. Most of my F’s were in the courses that I did not care about. I was good at software. That is what I wanted to do, but I could not change my branch at IITK. In interviews I emphasized what I was good at and did not try to explain my weaknesses. I submitted my grade sheet everywhere and HR or background verification team didn’t have an issue.

Fast forward 6 years. I am currently working at a multi-national technology company. Drawing about the same salary as B.Tech CSE guys (I am from MME) with equivalent years of experience, performing the same roles. I also had a pretty satisfying stint at a startup which I joined as the 4th employee with one year of experience and stayed there for 3 years.

What would I tell someone struggling for grades?

Find what you are good at. Do well in those courses. Don’t invite Fs, Don’t purposely Fail Courses and do not think that getting an F is perfectly fine or a celebration time. However, if you do get F’s, do not despair. Do not take your failures too seriously.  Even if you genuinely struggle, Remember, there is nothing permanent; this phase will pass too. Talk to people. Talk to even Mean professors. They are not as mean as they appear to be. Have faith in yourself. Connect with the community. Look at the people who are in much worse situations than you are in. Finish the degree. Get a job, any job. (specially in software field). Prove your worth. IITK has taught you more than you think. Switch to another job if you are not happy. You have to find your passion; you have to find what you are good at and go after it. Don’t worry what anybody else thinks about your “success”. Don’t get in the rat race.

I found following books to be specially helpful. Reviews inline.

1. The Reverse Journey by Vivek Kumar Singh (Rs 95)

Packed in 124 pages with NO masala and true realism, The Reverse Journey is a novel where The Author an IITian of 1996 batch, takes the normal path taken by lakhs of Middle Class people in India, observes the society and people around him as they evolve and presents a compelling story, that most of us can relate to. The Reverse Journey is a novel which evolves through a series of seamless short stories and each story by itself is an inspiration in itself.

Books Reviews : http://goo.gl/WcLOv

Amazon: http://amzn.com/9381115354  ($6.00)

Flipkart : http://goo.gl/vtx1l (Rs 95)

HomeShop18 : http://goo.gl/BiHCL

2. The Three Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life  by Steve Zaffron. 

Flipkart : http://goo.gl/X8GZs (Rs. 301, 33% discount)

Amazon : http://amzn.com/111804312X   ($11.40)

The laws of performance are universal. That is, any time people are involved in a situation, the laws apply. They aren’t steps or tips, but general principles that are always at work. They are also phrased in a precise way, to give maximum insight and applicability. The laws are:
1. How people perform correlates to how situations occur to them.
2. How situations occur arises in language.
3. Future based language transforms how situations occur to people.

3. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg 

Flipkart : http://goo.gl/MO9Td

Google Books : http://goo.gl/cNlNW ( Half of book in Preview)

Amazon : http://amzn.com/1892005034

174 of 177 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Profound! The most important book I’ve ever read. December 17, 2003

Initially I thought this book wouldn’t be relevant to me since I didn’t consider myself a “violent” communicator. A few pages into the book however, it became evident to me that despite my easy-going nature, I had much to learn about communication. Dr. Rosenberg identifies learned communication that disconnects us from each other and is at the very root of violence. He then offers a simple yet powerful 4 step model that leads to respectful and compassionate communication. One catch – while the model is simple, it can be challenging to apply, especially when we’re upset. That’s because most of us have learned to blame others when we’re upset and it’s hard to unlearn this behavior.

133 of 139 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars New edition’s chapter on self-compassion well worth reading December 27, 2003

By “mindful-dot-com”

This latest edition of Dr. Rosenberg’s book has a completely new chapter called, “Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves.” It’s about what he calls, “self-compassion.” He writes, “When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others.” I enjoyed this chapter because it helped me translate my self-judgments into statements of my own unmet needs.

Indian Edition Not Available. Imported only, but worth it.

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The alumnus featured graduated from IITK with BTech in Metallurgy. He has still not resolved many issues in his life and therefore prefers to remain anonymous. We encourage you to post your comments on the blog or communicate with him via GoForItIITK@gmail.com